Today, I am exactly 49 and a Half. For those of you who are chronologically challenged, that puts the big FIVE-O birthday in October. (For those so inclined to lavish gifts on the sadly aged, here’s my ‘Buy Me This‘ List.)
Prior to our teen years, tacking on that ‘Half’ was vitally important. That’s when we wanted so desperately to be grown up. Not so much now.
Say this with me, “I am 50.” Gives me a little shudder.
Pragmatically, I know that it’s just a number, and in all seriousness I don’t FEEL 50, I don’t feel old at all. Not like when I was 12 and actually thought 50 was ancient. My mind has been whirling every time I ponder on my half century birthday. I’m having difficulty reconciling my actual age with my imagined age.
I simply don’t know what to do about turning 50, or if I even need to do anything… other that not-so-subliminally cajole my peeps into some serious celebratory action. (I keep dropping hints that as a Birthday Girl I get free admission into Disney World. Some kids never want to grow up, and I love roller coasters.)
What do I have to show for my first 50 years? What do I want to do with the next 50?
I’m not going to make some unattainable declaration that within x-number of years I will accomplish this or that. I think any sort of deadline only sets me up for disappointment and failure.
I don’t need cruises or lavish vacations. I don’t want luxury cars or huge houses, expensive jewelry or truck loads of money. I’m not interested in amassing extravagant material wealth. There are no delusions of fame or infamy.
I have no plans for reconstructive or cosmetic enhancements. I wouldn’t mind shedding some pounds, but I need to do that on my own… sometime soon.
My marriage is happy, my kids are doing great. Those are my personal life successes.
Besides I have another 50 years to do more fabulous things, right.
So, tell me… what should I put on my ‘Second 50′ to-do list?